Does anyone else cringe when they hear the “New Year, New You” mantra? As you start this new year, I want to ditch that mindset if it’s unhelpful to you and instead challenge you to approach your resolutions (if you make them) with a different view. *Even if you aren’t the New Year’s Resolutions type, keep reading. What you’ll learn below can apply to everything you do.

Start from a place of love

So many of us set goals or create intentions out of expectation, pressure, or dissatisfaction. However, not feeling like you’re “enough” and wanting to improve yourself aren’t the same thing. As a wise friend once told me “We're always loving where we're at, but we're always growing and improving.”

When we shift our mindset and set goals or create intentions from a place of self-love — with gentleness and compassion — we’re more likely to stick with them. I’ve tried lots of different goal-setting techniques over the years and have incorporated some intentions as well, but what finally helped me feel peace instead of dissatisfaction about all of it was to start with loving myself. Ask yourself WHY you’re trying to make these changes. If your answer isn’t kind or loving, rephrase it and pray about it until you have at least a glimmer of self-love in there. It really makes a difference.

Goals vs. Intentions

New Years Resolutions have always sounded vague to me. Sometimes they’re goals, sometimes they’re just ideas. When I’m thinking about something I want to change, I find this graphic helpful.

I love intentions because they help ground me in a greater purpose. The vast majority of things I want to work on are for my health. I try to remember the reason I want to work on those things is to honor the body God’s given me and have it be as healthy as it can be so I can do the work He’s put me here to do.

I do like to use goals, too, though it depends on the situation. Sometimes I need a specific, measurable goal with action steps. Sometimes I need the gentleness and grounding of an intention.

When I was in the Health Coach Training Program at IIN, in addition to an overall intention for the program, we were encouraged to set a weekly intention as each module was released. Over the course of the 40 modules I only set an intention for about half of them, but when I did, those weeks were noticeably better! I also had a larger intention around the entire program that I kept as my phone background and on a notepad at my desk. Seeing it every day helped remind me of that greater purpose.

If you’ve already set some goals or intentions for the year, use the rest of this month to experiment a bit. Are you a goal-setter? Perhaps experiment with adding one intention. Do you prefer to set intentions? Choose one goal to work on with steps mapped out so you can see your accomplishment.

How do you make it stick?

One of the key things I help my clients do is choose simple, do-able steps to improve their health. If we’re going to stick with something it has to be easy, and it needs to come from a place of love.

What might this look like? For me this year, instead of setting a goal around my weight, I‘ve created an intention to not snack while I’m making dinner. I set this intention because I know I’ll enjoy eating dinner more, because I want to have the same rules for myself as I do for the kids, and because its a small sacrifice I can make in solidarity with those who will go without food that day.

Are you going to be perfect at this every day? Nope. That’s okay. To help you with consistency, keep your intention or goal visible (i.e. a sticky note in the kitchen, the screensaver of your phone, a note on the bathroom mirror). Don’t forget the accountability piece either. Share your goal or intention with your spouse, a trusted friend, or even your kids (they’ll LOVE to catch you not following through!).

Choosing something manageable, like not snacking before dinner, also helps you remember WHY you’ve made this intention. When I’m tempted to snack on chips as I’m making dinner, I want to remember that I’m becoming a mom who doesn’t snack at dinnertime because I love your body and I want to take care of it the best I can.

What’s your next step?

Instead of getting overwhelmed or discouraged by all the New Year’s Resolution/”New Year, New You" talk, pick one or two habits or areas to focus on. (Set a goal or an intention.) Most importantly, choose those things because you love yourself.

I’d love to support you in accomplishing whatever goals or intentions you have for this new year. Join my Facebook group: the Fatigue-Free Mom Community and share a goal or an intention that you have for 2023. We’d love to hear it and to support you.