Tips for When There’s No Time
You don’t need me to tell you that you should be taking care of yourself. The vast majority of us already know what we’re supposed to be doing to keep ourselves healthy.
There are lots of reasons why we don’t give our bodies the love and care they need, but let me be crystal clear: this post isn’t meant to shame anyone. I’m a firm believer that we’re all doing the best we can with the information, time, support, and resources that we have.
So what gets in the way?
Hands down, a lack of time is the biggest reason we struggle to take care of ourselves.
As moms, our lives usually revolve around our family’s schedule. If you have small children or babies, you probably feel like your time is even less your own.
While I can’t add more hours to your day, this months’ post will give you some very practical tips and tools you can use to help you take care of yourself with the time you have.
Start Here
Before you try any of the tips below, we need to get this clear first:
You matter. You are non-negotiable. You are deserving of care and attention. And — you are ultimately responsible for taking care of yourself.
I want to challenge you to prioritize you in your schedule but coming from a place of love, not pressure or expectations.
Give yourself a big hug. Remind yourself that you’re doing a great job. Speak to yourself as if you were talking to little 6 year old you. Be gentle.
It might be that the only thing you can prioritize at the moment is making sure you brush your teeth before you go to bed (especially if you tend to fall asleep with one of the kids). And please hear me: If that’s where you are, that’s OKAY.
Keep it in perspective
As far as time management tips go, we really need to start with keeping all the recommendations out there in perspective. Many just aren’t realistic for moms, yet we feel some underlying guilt or frustration that we can’t accomplish them. Sleeping 7-8 hours a night is one that comes to mind. When I wasn’t sleeping through the night thanks to small kids, that recommendation both drove me crazy and pissed me off. If I could, I would!
Instead of feeling guilty or angry about everything you “should” be doing, remember that this isn’t an all-or-nothing game. Look at the recommendations — sleeping enough, getting consistent exercise, eating less processed foods, etc. — and do what you can with them given your unique state in life.
Reign in the tech
In our day-to-day, the biggest time suck we probably face comes from technology.
I’m willing to bet that if you checked your phone usage, you’d find plenty of time spent on apps that could instead be put towards making yourself a delicious breakfast for tomorrow, getting to bed earlier, doing some stretches or just grabbing a glass of water.
Many of us probably already know this is true. It might be a shock to others.
If you’re looking to take back some time in your day, I’d recommend cutting back on screens.
It may be that instead of scrolling, you leave your phone in the bedroom and pull up a short YouTube workout on the TV or walk around the backyard.
Turn your phone on “bedtime mode” after 8:30pm. Set timers on your apps so they don’t open after a certain usage or time of day. Many, if not all, smartphones today have these features.
Put on a favorite show, but also pull out a yoga mat and do some stretches as you watch instead of mindlessly snacking on the sofa.
Write it down
Writing down our self-care time as a visual reminder can be incredibly helpful.
Even if you have to start with just 15 minutes once a week, block out some time on your calendar the way you would an important meeting or a doctor’s appointment.
Put time on your calendar to exercise after you get home from dropping the kids off at school.
If you tend to write long to-do lists, I challenge you to try writing down only 3 items on your list each day. One of those items should be something for yourself. Even if you have to write down “Eat lunch at the table” or “Take a shower” as your self-care for the day, do it. It counts.
Put sticky notes in the kitchen, on your dashboard, in the bathroom to remind you to pause and take a deep breath.
Don’t add it on, combine it.
Sometimes when I’m helping a kiddo in the shower, I use that time to also clean the bathroom. Getting chores done is great, but how can we do things like that with self care?
Put one ear bud in and listen to a podcast as you fold laundry or do the dishes
Do some stretches as you sing a toddler to sleep
Pray as you prepare a meal
Use the “two minute rule”
I learned this from David Allen and his book, Getting Things Done. I read it years ago when the office I worked in read it as a book club. It completely changed the way I organized my brain at work and over the years I’ve incorporated some of his tips into my home life. The biggest take-away that I still use all the time is his “two minute rule.”
If it will take you 2 minutes or less to do, just get it done right then and there. Don’t put it off.
Little micro-wins like this do wonders for our feelings of productivity!
What could this look like for a mom trying to take care of herself?
Put on lotion
Drink a glass of water
Turn on a podcast or favorite playlist
Wash a handful of blueberries
Ask for help
It can be hard for us to ask for help, but it’s such a necessary part of a busy mom’s self-care toolkit. AND, asking for help gives you more time.
Ask your spouse. Perhaps he gets up with the kids on Saturday so you can hide in your bedroom or sneak outside to read or journal.
Ask a friend. Can you childcare swap one afternoon so you can each run chores? Perhaps there’s a retiree at church, or young mother’s helper who would love to come over for lunch and watch the baby while you get some chores done.
Ask a professional. If you have the means, hiring help with cleaning, laundry, meals, yardwork.
Give Yourself a Chance to Begin Again
So what’s standing in your way today, my friend? Chances are there’s more than one thing getting in the way of you giving your body, mind and spirit the love each deserves.
Don’t let this feel daunting. Start small. Do what you can. Pray about it.
A great way to start small is to join the next Healthy Habits Reset! It’s 10 days of focusing on whatever healthy habits you feel you need the most support with.
Each day in our virtual group you can listen to a prayer and then read others’ comments, chime in with your own questions and download the support resources.
It’s a super low-pressure way to take a first step or to begin again in prioritizing your own health.
